The following are exerts taken from Aeturnus Illeus Discordia Redux, the last known work of Rev. Ignatious Dryroasted Chaffinch HC (3254 - 3279).It was found nailed to the ceiling of his corrugated iron shack, in the deepest woodlands of Sussex, wrote on what witnesses described as 'flayed goat hind' others say it looked like a CDROM.
It has been transcribed by the good people here at The Chaffinch Foundation, and recorded here for posterity as per his last will and testament decreed.
Quote:"& for as I have spake so shall it be spoken unto the seething masses.
For as the rabbit shall rise in the East, there shall be a mighty cleansing of Cabbages through all of the lands.
We shall rise up like a fist from the weak underbelly of the ungodessley heathens of Thud and smash them into many, many melancholy pieces.
"Vengance shall be ours!" cry the esoteric!
For those who have crossed the Justified & Ancient ones, so shall they be crosses, and naught may vex us.
Fire shall rain from the mouth of the monkey, and the goat shall dance in the west."
Rev. Ignatious Dryroasted Chaffinch HC (3254 - 3279) gone but not fnordgotten.
The Chaffinch Foundation: Working since 3281 to restore the lost work of Rev. Chaffinch HC.
As spake Rev. Ignatious Dryroasted Chaffinch HC (3254 - 3279) in his 'Treatise On The Gentiles', Part. 7: 'On Jews':
"If Jews ate pork, they would be made of WIN! That's why the Yawellah-Jehovah Device denies the meaty yummingtons of pork to our Jewish brethren.Jews combined with pork create an Uberjew, a Zionistic Ninja Master Space Jew, completely composed of WIN! Like in the old days when Giant Ninja Space Jews battled with mankind for control of the earth.
{... removed: Desc. 12 pages of the word 'Uberninjarobojew' repeated ...}
Everyone's out to get the Jews and the Jews are out to get everyone else, so that makes it even I guess. But don't get me wrong, I'm not disparaging the good name of these fine ancient people, because they can curse you, you know?"
As Rev. Ignatious Dryroasted Chaffinch HC (3254 - 3279) said in his paper "My Dog Has A Tinfoil Hat: How Does He Smell?":
"Mind control.
Theres quite a lot of it about these days.
There are several clear methods that one can use to ascertain if one's mind is being externally manipulated, and as luck would have it several easy ways to negate this manipulation.
Please use this simple checklist to work out if you are suffering from any mind control related malaise.
1. Do you sometimes feel as though people are looking out of your eyes?
2. Can you hear an insectile buzzing voice in your mind, urging you to -do things-?
3. Do you sometimes see small moving dots and squiggles in front of your eyes?
4. Have you, whilst under a post hypnotic trigger trance, ever assassinated any key public figure?
5. Do you FEEL THEM INSIDE YOUR BRAIN?
6. Do you sometimes talk to yourself when no one is around?
7. Have you seen a prominent politician shape-shift into a reptile like being, then eat some childerens?
8. Does the phrase " ROSE BUTTERFLY KETTLE " mean anything to you?
9. Ever feel like your housepets have had their eyes removed and had information gathering cameras installed?
If you have answered yes to two or more of these questions, theres a high likelihood, that unfortunately you are suffering from mind control.
The important thing at this point is:
DON'T PANIC!
As there are several cheap, easy and most of all efficient methods for negating any evil mind control you may be suffering from.
1. Fill your attick with coat hangers, as this will help deflect any satelite beams, ELF radar waves, microburst transmitions or sub aether snares that may be aimed at your abode.
2. Make a tinfoil hat. You may have seen this discredited on the internet, and by science, but this is MISINFORMATION. A tinfoil hat is 100% effective against all -human- forms of mind control. Anyone who says different is ONE OF THEM!
3. Take apart all electrical items in your household, as these can be used to conceal transmitters and cameras, as can you pets, spouse, parents and neighbours. Take these apart too.
4. Line your walls with egg cartons. No one knows how this works, but it does. This is the same method that the Trans Siberian Goat Herders use to line their skein huts.
5. Change your name to a secret name that only you know, as a persons name is required to control their mind.
6. Avoid the TV, as this device enhances any mind control you may be experiencing.
7. Drink only Sambuka, as this will help dull the neural feedback processing loop that is being used to acquire live video feed of what you are looking at.
8. Dig out any suspicious looking moles or lumps you may find on your body, as THEY have implanted you with -things-.
If you follow these nine top tips, you'll find your life totally mind control free."
Once the good people at The Chaffinch Foundation have collated, disinfected, retrospected and collected the remaining, so called, 'Chaffinch Files' from their secret locations in Sussex, the entire work will be made available as a kopylefted free download.